Many of the complaints from some of my girlfriends about their boyfriends is that they aren’t on the same page. He does not understand them and so on. He is not on their level whether it be financially, mentally or in life in general. Which brings me to the question. Are you dating up or down? Let me explain, when I say dating up, I am talking about dating someone who is your equal. If you want a deeper, steadier connection, both people have to bring something real to the table.

Of course this does not apply to all cases but it has affected me a time or two. In both cases you would be the one that needs to step your game up. Enter into a new phase of growth in your life. I enjoy when I meet a new man, or person, who can help me to go the next level when it comes to being a better me in life. Sometimes opposites do attract, but without meaningful commonalities the relationship will not flourish.

In the same token, I find that some women also date down. They find men who they have absolutely nothing in common with and expect there to be a deep connection. Or, they find someone who has nothing to offer them financially, emotionally, etc and are perplexed when he is not living up to their standards. That would be one of dating down. By doing that, you risk letting that person bring you down as well unless both people are willing to grow.

Let me just say that there is a balancing act in this equation. There is no one person who is the epitome of perfection. You will always have to work with a person and what you perceive to be their issues, as they will have to do the same for you. The first step is to ask yourself what you can deal with and what you cannot. Always know, believe, and accept your own worth, and never wait on someone else to determine it for you.